On My First Try

I did it.  I got hired at a new job!  I am an adult, and my student loans will be paid off in no time, and I will never have to take notes on a lecture I don't care about again, and hey--I should go shopping!

Ok, I am definitely getting ahead of myself here, but that is the kind of freedom I felt after getting this phone call today--
"Hi Laura, I'm calling to offer you the Life Skills Instructor position that you interviewed for last week.  Are you still interested?"

Heck yes I am!  Never mind my worries about the cost of driving 33 miles each way to work, or my creeping anxiety about being responsible for the lives of others!  Who cares if it's not as much money as I hoped for?  One overnight shift per week--no big deal!  I've got a job!

It is going to work out well because it just has to.  Very soon after applying for a large number of jobs, I got a call from one.  I continued to search and apply for more positions, and even began to consider (briefly) going back to waitressing while I looked.  I interviewed with The Caller and sat by my phone all weekend patiently waited for more calls, assuming there was little chance I would get hired on my first try.

But I did!

It's Time.

It's time.  Time to find a job.
Gosh, I despise starting new jobs!  I really do--I don't enjoy meeting new people, feeling like I don't know what I'm doing, having to ask tons of questions, or generally working with weirdos who I don't know.

I have had three long-term jobs so far, each lasting between two and five years.  I didn't love any of them, but I liked staying at each of them way more than I liked the idea of starting anew somewhere else.  Each of these three jobs had really fun people, who I became overly comfortable working with, and they are what kept me around.  But now...I have been basically out of work for six months or so.  It's been going fine so far, but obviously this can't keep up.  Especially after the news I got yesterday.

I attended my "Loan Exit Interview," in preparation for graduation, and ultimately, the "Loan Repayment" portion of my life.  I knew how big the number was.  I did.  What I did not know was just how much larger that number is going to grow over the next 10-20 years as interest piles up.
It. Is. Scary.  And all this money for a degree that may or may not even contribute toward a bigger salary than I could've gotten without it!

So today I have done two things.  (And it's only 2pm, look at that!)
1.  Had a little talk with myself, went like this:  I know you don't want to have a job, don't want to look for a job, don't want to think about jobs.  I know you don't like working in any form, and would do many unpleasant things for the chance to be a homemaker.  But, we need a job.  That's it, need one.  So you, my friend, are going to be excited about it--excited to meet new people, show off your skills, and help some other people.  Positive energy, right?
2.  Got started on the hunt:  I have already applied for ten different positions, all of which list my degree as a "requirement."  (Makes me feel better about the amount of money it's costing me).


    

Mountains Continued

The Colorado trip was a success.  As in, our friends had a beautiful, amazing wedding.  Not as in, I was humbly convinced that it is my dream home.                                                

                                                  

Our friends were married on top of Loveland Pass, two miles above sea level.  The ceremony was as sweet as could be, and the newlyweds snowboarded down the mountain with about 30 friends--it really was awesome.  

It was definitely a well-rounded trip.  Time with Scott was pretty much limited to dinners, since he was riding all day and I was riding...well, not at all.  I spent my time at a few local wineries with his parents, taking a scenic walk by myself, and chatting with friends.
And I decided this:  Keystone, CO, where we spent most of our time, is not for me to live.  It is for me to visit.  I really enjoyed my visit--the mountains are unbelievable, and the weather is nicer than MN for the most part--but the frequently dangerous and/or closed roads and the general lack of Target/chain grocery stores/shopping malls are just not my style.  However, Denver seems to be a different story.  Much more "flat," way warmer (less snow), and more metropolitan.  I will definitely keep Denver as an option to look into.

From beginning to end, I was away from Sophie for three and a half days.  This was my fourth vacation away from her, ranging from one day at a wedding in MN to seven days in Hawaii.  The separation definitely gets easier over time, and I'm not sure if it is because of practice...or the fact that she gets harder to spend time with as she gets older.  We are currently living in Temper Tantrum Central, and I'm eager to move.

What Changes?

Two nights ago, I had a dream where my dad announced to the family that he was leaving my mom.  Then he promptly stormed out of the house, taking nearly everything with him.  In real life, my parents have been married for over 40 years.  I literally have no idea how "happily" they've been married, since we're not very close and those kind of topics have never come up, but they are still married.

Last night, something else (probably on the television) sparked the topic of divorce in a conversation with Scott, the very handsome man who I introduced in my last post.  We talked about the scary fact that at least half of all people who get married will also get divorced.  We discussed the un-fixable problems that come about only after saying "I do."  We talked about how to protect ourselves from these by continuing the incredible honesty and trust that we have with each other.
And then we questioned--how do these people not know?  How do they not see/ignore the problems before getting married?  How does this happen to so many unsuspecting couples?  We both admitted that at this point, we don't imagine anything other than being very happily married until one or both of us dies.  But most everyone must feel like this before they get married.  What changes?

If anyone has experience with divorce and has any clues for us, we're very curious.  In fact, so curious, that I may explore marital counseling as a career option.

Mountains

I am going to the Mountains.  The actual mountains, big ones, in Colorado.  I've never been, and I'm very excited.  Mostly I am excited to take a vacation--I am very fortunate to have parents who live nearby and are willing to corral/feed/bathe my wild child while I'm gone--and it is very, very good to take a break once in a while.  The Colorado part...meh.  

Let me introduce you to my significant other:  my best friend for four years before we started dating, a professional massage therapist AND bartender, very handsome, pretty much amazing at/knows a lot about everything...and is head over heels in love with snowboarding in the mountains.  He has wanted to live in CO his entire life and made sure I knew that right away when we became an item.

Myself:  his best friend for four years prior, loves massages and cocktails, interested in handsome men, has a lot of questions about everything...and is head over heels in love with HOT weather places.  Never have I ever been interested in snow, winter sports, mountains, winter clothing, or anything related.

MY kind of mountains, in Hawaii.

So, the debate has started.  Where do we move after we get married?  Texas, near my family?  California, where I love to vacay?  Phoenix, near my best friend?  Maybe.  Colorado, his dream home?  Hopefully not.  So far, I've put it to him this way:  If we move there, you'll never want to leave.  So maybe we should save it for our retirement place when we don't have small children, and we can live somewhere warm first. It usually makes for interesting conversations, sometimes involving tears.

Next week, we are attending a wedding at Loveland Pass.  Again, very excited for the vacation.  I'm also interested to see what I think of the area.  I have a really negative attitude toward it--cold all year, inconvenient driving conditions, stoned hippies wandering the streets--this trip will either confirm my fears or completely turn me around.  Hopefully the latter, since it looks like I may end up there someday whether I like it or not.

Terrifying

When Sophie was in the NICU, someone introduced me to CaringBridge.  It's like a blog, meant for updating friends and family on people who are ill, injured, etc.  I kept Sophie's site up for much longer than I needed to, well after she was home and healthy (in fact, it's still there but I haven't updated since 2009).  www.caringbridge.org/visit/sophiemarielightfootprice

Since that time, there have been several other kids who I have been following, kids who are chronically ill, kids who have died tragically after long and difficult diseases, kids who have recovered and gone home.  Last week, one of them became very, very sick.
www.caringbridge.org/visit/melanie
Little Melanie is in the ICU and running out of options.  The last effort for her will be to go on "ECMO," a machine that I was very much afraid of in the NICU.  It is life-support for the heart and lungs, and not many people come off of it the same as they went on, if they come off at all.  I have never met Melanie or her family, but have been thinking about her throughout the day all week.  I just can't imagine going through that with a child.
Going through long-term intensive care is terrifying.  So many scary things happened with Sophie, and there were several moments that I was sure would be her last.  As terrible as it was, I imagine it is much much worse for Melanie's parents.  Melanie is a little girl, not a baby.  When it was happening to Sophie, I didn't even know her yet--I had never talked with her or even held her.  She was unconscious and paralyzed for most of the first two weeks of her life.  It just breaks my heart to think of what this family is going through.

By some crazy miracle, Sophie is fine.  Even her lungs, the weakest of preemie organs, are fine.  She had pneumonia last week, and was FINE.  It's insane the way her body healed itself and grew normally after starting out at 13 ounces.  I don't worry much about her health anymore.
I do worry about future babies though.  I'll be 30 very soon, so I have a limited number of years left to have them.  We definitely want another child.  I know that I will probably always have tiny babies, that's just the way it is.  But what if the next one isn't as strong as Sophie?  I'm worried that it's incredibly selfish and ridiculous to even try.

The Worst Part

This has got to be the worst part of getting older.  Death slowly creeps into our lives, and falls on people closer and closer to our own ages.  It is no longer just grandparents.  In the past few years, I have had two friends lose their fathers, lost an aunt myself, and now Nate Dogg.  Only 41, and the victim of two strokes.  With celebrities, it's not like I can even really claim to be that distraught about it since I obviously have never met them.  I think it is just disturbing to know that it is not so far off.